i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
they told you the "weed man" wouldn't come until you were asleep, like santa claus. you believed it.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Just had to buy plan b w/ my robotic baby from family living.. Awkward.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
CUT OFF ALL YOUR HAIR COME ON MAN LET'S DO THIS
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
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