I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
If i die in the snow, get to my laptop and delete all of the nickelback. password is "barry"
as in "white"?
He keeps asking me for girl advice, i told him im an expert at getting drunk, not girls
Bank of America: Available balance is $546.25 on 03/04/2011 for account 8428. Go online for details. TextSTOPtoStop/TextHELPforHelp
i loe djcudia fjxos rue.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
why does he always try to puke into shot glasses
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Our friendship would be less complicated if your dad didn't think I was forcing you into having gay sex with me
Should I get the rainbow boxer breifs???
As your boyfriend, this is a level of gay that even I can't handle.
Take off your clothes and see if he wants to have sex, that's a good way to find out
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
You know you've found a good drug dealer when he's willing to overnight mail to you in another state...
Hey, I left a taco in your dishwasher.
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
