I'm lost and stupid without you.
what kind of morning-after breakfast implies 'thanks for the sex, but i'm not gonna call you ever again'?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
my bartender licked my nipple. never stay after hours
I'm basically just sitting in the porta poTty finishing my bottle of champagne bc I am too lazy to carry it back to the tailgate
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
Well still if someone cared enough about u to wish an unwanted child or a disease on u ..u must have been doing something right
Trust me. I don't get home before 5am. I know what Immmm doing. BTW bail money is in my closet. PEACE
The second I see you we're shot gunning beers
It's gonna be 8 o'clock in the morning
And your point is?
Marry me
I have to go buy generic plan b after work. I don't even leave for the new semester for another 11 days. I think I just leveled up in sluttiness
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
All I know is if i get a free preview weekend of HBO then I am recording Kindergarten Cop.
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
Questions: How did Rachel get home? Why did I find both her ID's in my shoes? And does anyone know if she's alive?
He's UNCIRCUMCISED. And it curves. Two things I've never encountered in all my sluttiness and they're both on the hottest guy alive. :(
Randomize
