Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
I did something last night that I shouldn't have, but I don't want to tell you because you'll probably just make it your fb status...
I see you've learned your lesson.
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
ur not supposed to find someone to make out with when ur bf takes u to his SISTERS house to hang out with her and her husband
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
No one's ever called me intergalactic cocksucker, before.
What does it say about me that I feel completely charmed right now?
You turn 21 at midnight!
This is better than being born!!
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Randomize
