Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
the new apple iphone has a feature that can find itself if you lose it, apple is getting closer to making a phone completely drunkproof...
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
And leave it to John to ask the cabby to make a Porno in his cab
Now I know he's not trying to fuck me. He took me to lunch at White Castle.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
Ew. After that you just pretty much proved that your vagina is the reason why my vagina needs two toilet seat covers when peeing in public restrooms
You chugged 6 beers in a row and then outed your boss at a party last night.
He tried to tip me with his police badge...
and you didn't accept WHY?!
His last Google search was "will sperm ruin the retina display on Apple products?"
He started saying the pledge of allegiance so his boner would go down. Merica.
I HAVE A FLAME THROWER. COME SEE IT. IT’S SAFE AND WORKS.
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