Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Would you rather have a 10 inch but pencil thin penis or a 2 inch very fat one?
Fat, it's not about touching the bottom it's about raising hell of the sides.
i don't know what the guinness world record is for longest time eating nothing but skittles but i'm going on six days
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
she made sit in a corner, drink nothing but water and told me she was worried about me because i picked up an irish guy at a taxi rank. says the girl who invented tequila night and fucked a guy in a park across the street from a sweet sixteenth.
I puked in my fridge last night while I was trying to get water
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I have to answer enough questions about you, I don't need your uterus tossed in the conversation.
you were bawling because you felt bad for being so drunk and then you asked for a beer
I'd say it's his fault for never running us through proper protocol for "catching your RA in the middle of him banging some girl"
Asking me to suck on my nipples isn't going to make me less mad at you.
You have cats and a ten year IUD. Embrace it.
At some point i am going to say to you "i have this really bad idea! You in? " just go with it.
Randomize
