We won't sleep together?
Spent $1500 on bottle service and have a lump on my head from hitting the nightstand while puking. Excess? Nooo Success.
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She told me a very interesting story, complete with pantomimes, about how she got a habanero seed in her vag
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
just started drinking the sprite you used to ice your crotch last night. Missing you already
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
I remember telling you it was cold out because the sun was going to explode and people were going to fight for corn. I feel I've mislead you.
Hey, it was your idea to keep her occupied with the barscanner on your phone.
you didnt need to give her a fucking sharpie. there are handmade barcodes everywhere. including my cock. fucker.
I hate find pieces of condom wrappers on carpet. It's like god is throwing flakes of shame for me to vacuum up
Serious questions. Who is that girl? Why is she wearing a tiara? And why does she keep asking about penis piercings?
Last night's dream consisted of you, me, a sauce pan full of cocaine and light sabers. I almost cried when I woke up.
I threw up in the shower. I cleaned it all up and there is on mess at all. This hangover has become borderline religous. Powerful and life changing.
I have this theory that your highest awareness of how drunk you are is while you're sitting on a toilet
Science requires me to take a picture of your nipples.
Randomize
