Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
Just tried on my bathing suit for the first time this year. Had to drink a beer to numb the pain.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
The last thing i remember is saying breakfast beer and carrying the keg to my room and locking the door.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
we went 3 years between hookups and she got a lot better. Amanda's moving way up the booty call pecking order.
Wrote my name backwards on the test and asked for extra credit points. Late start booze days are my new favorite thing.
ur mom makes the best bacon
WHAT ARE YOU DOING IN MY HOUSE
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Congratulations on your downgrade, shes one hell of a 5
I only know one person in my class and that's my dealer.
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
I either have food poisoning or I'm pregnant. Either way, I NEED JESUS!
hey if my parents say thanks for the meatballs just go with it ill explain later
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