kristin has been a bad kristin
are you looking for your table cloth? Cause I found it around my neck this morning...
I'm destined to be knocked up by a sailor
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Remind me tomorrow that I was taking shots of burnetts in the subway line while placing my order
I opened my eyes this morning, looked at the sunlight and made this hangover my bitch.
My boss just told me not to come back to work if I decide to drink. Challenge accepted.
Try explaining "the nature of your relationship" to a cop when your fuck buddy vandalized your car. Priceless.
I'm filtering his penis picture so I can see it better
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Adulthood is weird i just cleared a check larger than my gross income from 2011 but i also just did coke during my lunch break
Why does your life consist of lesbians, black guys and cats?
Your cousin just directly asked you for nudes
my one night stand just gave me money "to buy a better vibrator" tis the season
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