apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
Clearly he doesn't understand my need to be surrounded by cats at all times
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
Used a cardboard box as a pillow and a towel as a blanket. Its like the great depression over here
You paid at the door and they gave you a straw for the kiddie pool full of booze.
After a bit there were two girls who got naked and liquor wrestled. I don't think it was planned.
Hell hath no fury like a woman whose gay sidekick you insult
i'm going as a slutty football player, and all night i'll drunkily whisper "id love to catch your balls." into random strangers ears.
Yeah i'd say someone being in the room while you're doing someone makes them eligible for fb friendship
I punched some guy in the face for being an asshole then later I went to say sorry and give him a hug and he started making out with me. How was your new years?
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
And then after we fucked he wouldn't stop calling me "champ". It was like I had sex with an extremely attractive soccer coach
Ah that wonderful moment when you realise the bookmark you were using in a book you lent your mum is actually a receipt from a strip club
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
Randomize
