i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i want to fuck
?
it's pretty self explanatory
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
Go ahead. I tried to back up ur budhism story but she mite be catching on
Dammit. I hoped that would work. Just tell her I'm doing my pilgrmidge to Nepal or something.
Apparently my type is "guy whose parents had unprotected sex on Halloween". Last week was my ex's, my FWB's, and the guy I'm seeing's birthdays.
Announcement: Given the sad circumstances regarding the death of my dearest friend Chong the Bong, there will be a brief memorial service for him tomorrow evening at 10:30 at my place. After sharing some memories and sending his spirit off to the great bowl in the sky, we will all take place in the commemoration and maiden voyage of his son, Chong Squared, who eagerly waits to meet all of you. High blessings to you all, piece be with you.
I woke up at 3am, my head in a toilet, still at the kegger, wearing a random cowboy hat.
it doesn't matter, he's just a life support system for his dick
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
The lady at the Humaine Society gave me her nephew's number because I seem like a loving and caring person.
Does she know that each time you've adopted a new cat in the past year it's because some guy stopped fucking you and you don't want to eat your feelings?
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
You woke up in between the boxspring and the matress in a random dorm room.
I think I gotta smoke less weed, I'm getting to lazy to fuck my girlfriend
Randomize
