i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
My place. Tomorrow Night. Bring your liver, and something for it to do.
by the end of the night i am guaranteed to have less of a face than Seal....
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
She celebrated a negative pregnancy test by going out to Quizno's. I really don't understand her at all.
you were having sex in the bathroom so i pee'd in your bong water...
I don't think I have ever puked up that much free breakfast in my life...thank god for Nickle Beers.
I just brought the toaster out onto the porch to light a cigarette, don't talk to me about being desperate.
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
i feel like i got punched in the cervix. he's a little different in bed than i thought he would be..
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
Would it be wildly inappropriate for me to tailgate a Jonas brothers concert?
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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