Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
so he came in me this morning and i was like WTF DUDE. i called him Daddy until he agreed to pay the full $40 for plan B. He wants to name our Patrick because it will be a st pattys day baby. absolutely NOT.
I just made a 90's Nickelodeon TV theme song power hour mix...I don't want to build it up but your head might explode
I am officially out of liquor stores within a 15 mile radius that don't recognize me as soon as I walk in the door.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
That sucks. I just talked to a telemarketer for 15 minutes about CSI: Miami and weed.
I told him if I was pregnant we were coming out to the people at work, because I'm not pretending to get knocked up by an imaginary boyfriend.
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Now I don't feel so bad about telling everyone that he's 23 and needs Viagra. It's her problem now
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
Honestly who turns down a free blowjob?
while on the topic of showers...why is there apple juice in our bathtub?
I was just at the gas station and happened to look left and see a girl blowing some guy. How was your night?
their motto was "the first one to get arrested wins" so of course today was interesting
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