I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
he changed my name in his contacts to "rick", so his mom wouldn't know he was texting me
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
Morning yack off the fire escape. Girl walking by was mortified. Gooooooooo Ducks!!
I want to be you.
I feel like a color. Like a wavy color
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
I'm gonna rob all up in that cradle
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
Randomize
