you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
I feel like I deserve an award for facing my fear of penises in my face.
The thought "Ummm which pants am I wearing? ...I *am* wearing pants, right?" just ran through my head. I'm done. So done.
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
He whispered "Are you feeling it now Mr. Krabs?" when he was inside me. That is NOT my fetish.
Can we do lunch at 3? I have a blowjob scheduled for 2.
You schedule blowjobs?
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
Can you please stop fucking every bartender in the city? Just once I want to have a Jack and Coke without fielding questions about your availability.
She flashed us last time and pissed all over the floor this time. I'm scared to invite her back.
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Can you dump a guy for having pierced nipples or is that shallow?
I blame her lesbian super powers of coercion.
Randomize
