and by charming I mean he has a horse cock.
I make my boyfriend pay for half of my birth control. We call it his monthly rent.
I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I wonder if that one guy remembers you sticking salami to his forehead when he was passed out on new years eve.
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
okay, please tell me Cammy is the one who put the picture and note on my desk saying "beat off to this homeboy"
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
I woke up naked under desk at her apt once during my freshman year. I should have known that friendship was of a different breed...
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Just got high and apologized to my vagina for getting chlamydia
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
The convent might be a nice break from real life
He had a tattoo of a crown above his penis. He was AMAZING! It was well deserved. LONG LIVE THE KING!
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