Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
I have to take tonight off from shenanigans. My liver is planning a coup
One of my interns found me on Grindr. I'm really gonna make him earn the absurd amount of money I pay him.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
Dipping my sugar cookies in a glass of fireball and creme soda. This is holiday spirit
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
Just fucked my ex's brother. It is clear I dated the wrong one. Is it wrong for me to continue to fuck this one?
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