Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
He's a fan of Alicia Keys on Facebook. It doesn't NEED to say 'interested in men'.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
all im saying is that if he was a normal person, he would have fucked me by now.
You know when you blow me it's the softest, most amazing feeling ever. Like putting my dick in a silk bag filled with puppy ears.
The plan is that you eat an edible first, then pressure your dad to do one. You know you are down.
Shawn wouldn't stop singing about his cock on the ride home that night it freaked my girlfriend out how consistent he was
No more house parties. We're almost fucking 30 years old and I slept until 6 pm.
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I should become a firefighter. Who uses his cock to fight fires. Like a Superhero.
Having sex with him is like eating mayo. Don't think about it, just do it. It's worth it.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
WHAT THE FUCK I JUST PULLED TWO TAMPONS OUT OF MY VAGINA. WHERE DID THE OTHER ONE COME FROM??
....surprise!
Randomize