I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
I was relieved after I found the unopened condom in my pocket. Then I found the open one in the other pocket..
you inspire me to be a worse person
I knew we would be good together when you made me lick jameson off your boob while you screamed along with racks on racks
be ready to rage tomorrow. like naked ranch dressing rage
i thought i should point out that whatever else you can say about me, i've still gotten high with a midget.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
I'm just going to eat my milkshake, watch teen wolf, masturbate, and lament my inability to form meaningful relations with men who aren't gay
That awkward moment when your boyfriend tries to have sex with his go pro on #hdporn
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
I remember that. We went to taco bell looking for pizza.
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
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