"it" just moved
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
He burst into tears while I was blowing him. NEVER giving a bj for a graduation present again.
Ha ha. You should see the things I'm doing to my body at Bob Evans.
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
I'm trying to make sure he doesn't drown in the toilet. Because I'm a nice lady.
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
I just wiped my butthole and there was glitter down there.
my night went from a boring school play to hotboxing a car with 3 criminals
my personal favorite... An "I'm sorry you broke your finger and cant play sports for awhile" blowjob!
Officially hit an ultimate low today. I was so hung-over I threw up on the ground in front of the jousting display in the London tower. But on a positive note, Brits are very understanding when you vomit on their history.
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