i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Twist it, pull it, flick it... Bop it was like the first time I touched myself.
And you kept hanging up and calling back because you thought I wasn't greeting you properly.
im probably the most hungover person watchin icarly right now
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
I just had a sex dream about orange juice, so there's that.
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I'm sorry I walked in on you guys, but all I heard from outside was her screaming "Dive, dive!". Sex was my last guess for what was going on in there.
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