I will die if light touches me.
I wasn't pimping you out... I was helping you network!
well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
he said "you're pretty" then i made out with him. thats all it took
rather than putting your name in guys phones, you just texted 90999 to donate $10 to Haiti and then gave it back to them
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
The guy in the American Flag bikini was telling the women he was disgusted at the amount of alcohol they weren't drinking. Then it got ridiculous.
and I believe it was when I was running to class to take a test still drunk in my Halloween costume that I realized I have reached that point in the semester where I just don't give a flying fuck anymore.
A homeless man just asked me if I had seen any "nekkid chicks with heineken bottles run by"
Berkeley was the right choice
Maybe you need to change your pickup move. The "hey check these out" titty flash gets you the wrong kinda man.
You texted me a picture of your face along with #help
she is like a cock bee. instead of going from flower to flower she goes from cock to cock
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
We are no longer allowed to make spur of the moment decisions about our love lives
ABSOLUTELY NOT
Randomize
