Please, let me fuck your mom
Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
The biggest loser is alot easier to jack off to at the end of the season
You're cordially invited to the love nest for alcoholic and aquatic adventures. Also known as an all expense paid trip to my pool, alcohol, and vagina.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Well if I'm going to hook up with every ethnicity by the end of undergrad, I need to be moving on
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
WHEN DO I FOLLOW THESE PEOPLE. I WOKE UP THIS MORNING &FOUND TWEETS FROM ILLUMINATI AND "hot shot 6th grader"
Tell her this is the Disneyland of penises.It's a magical place everyone should visit once in their life.
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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