all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
we banged on the home plate. i wasnt even aware of the significance of where we were until afterwards hahaha
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
They're putting plan B in vending machines now. My life just got so much easier.
My dad picked me up from the bus station and as soon as he saw me he yelled "bus backwards is SUB!" and started laughing, I'm like 800% sure he's stoned. I'm so happy I came home for spring break.
What am I supposed to say? "Hi new uncle in law once I tried cocaine in Mexico and every once in a while i motorboat strangers. so happy to be a part of your family"
Let's never forget the time I met you while you were running down the street naked and in handcuffs.
my goal for the rest of college is to escape STD free. fuck getting a job. this is more important.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
You literally snort drugs up your nose and you’re questioning the brand of the multivitamin right now?
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
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