SO stoned. Sitting in just a thong in front of a fan. NO work for a WEEK! Life is good :)
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
You and I should start a club for people who woke up on outside on a bench with no idea how they got there.
why did u have a candy cane hung on your dick in the first place?
she has a santa fetish
cute.
my mom sold the house because of the grow room the couple saw i had in the basement.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Even when you're not here I still manage to get pad thai in my vagina
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
yolo... Doesn't that stand for 'shut the fuck up'?
The guy who bit me so hard two nights ago that I had to put Neosporin on my nipple and the guy in my bed right now are two different people. Help
After he came, I wiped my mouth on my baby blanket. I could feel nana rolling over in her grave.
The sad part is I didn't even want to get laid. I just wanted the emotional connection, but my vagina was screaming "TOUCH ME. TOUCH ME RIGHT NOW BECAUSE MY DADDY ISSUES ARE MUCH DEEPER THAN MY EMOTIONAL NEEDS!" Vodka has a way of getting me out of my emotions and gets me fucked every time.
Be happy for me... Or horny... Or be a really good friend and feel what I want you to feel. Jealousy
Someone had to wrestle her in the chocolate pool, I'm glad I was man enough to step up and do it
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