i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
distance makes the heart seek blowjobs from girls that are closer i heard.
Note to self: when drunk try to remember that ctrl, alt and dance doesnt exist on a keyboard.
Every single piece. I examined every single square inch of this peanut butter and jelly sandwich. and fell in love with every inch. that high.
I feel like royalty, that girl from last night had a vajazzled vag. Bucket list complete.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I got to see some gay bartender let a girl with daddy issues whip Travis in the balls with his own belt. Totally worth it.
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
I need to start a penis folder so I stop "accidentally" showing people my junk. On a side note- St. Pattys penis was a hit, four leaf clover and all.
i just need to find someone who enjoys eating frozen waffles as much as I do. It will be perfect.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
My boss just texted me, clearly drunk, and said get down here pronto with a handle of rum, 50 lbs. of cold cuts, and a BB gun. This is not why I went to law school.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
Randomize
