I just barfed on his mom.
You told him you were too drunk to meet his parents. Totally his fault.
I don't know what your problem is but seriously you're a cunt for throwing up that song on your page. It's rude as fuck
omg its myspace i didnt think anyone took that seriously anymore
Just got new surround sound speakers for my computer... I feel like I'm actually IN the porn now.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
Well now that I've given all the athletes mono there goes our chance of winning any conference championship
There's some drunk girl alone in the field, she looks like she could use some help.
Also it's only fair that you know that that girl is me.
Just now remembered singing Trashy Women at the reception. Not karaoke, just sang along with the mic I stole from the DJ. All while still in my dress drinking champagne from the bottle
Did you get your crutches off the street sign?
If I was 5 years younger and single...
She STILL wouldn't fuck you.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
Ur here to start shit and I'm here to light that shit on fire
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
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