I shampoo & condition my pubes, sometimes i wish my face was closer so i could rub against it cause it feels like plush
Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
Does it still count as a "walk of shame" if it's only 1am?
Sometimes when I see pregnant women, I wonder what position they were in when they got knocked up. Then I gag a little.
you're kinda like the weird girl from The Breakfast Club after the makeover. i mean you're pretty, but you're still weird as fuck
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
Drinking heavily at 3pm and about to rescue a 30lb street turtle. Dont even bother attempting to rise to this level bitch
Don't tell me 'the Fonzie' doesn't work. Went to see Shakespeare high and gave the sign to the dude playing Macbeth. Now at a cast party getting blown. All hail the Fonz.
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Pretty sure I was impersonating Rihanna when I kept asking him what my name was while we were making out
You mistakenly try to piss in a cactus bush ONE TIME and are forever dubbed cactus ass
KY in my mouth and throat does not a party make.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
Randomize
