And now I'm afraid that I'm a pornographic eater.
i justawanted to let you know that illi aalways be thwew for ui and o qill waasag youer dog whenebvet u wsnt
its whatevr the fuvk you could ever want is wht it is. i dont wanna read. literacy? overated in my opinion. overated.
looks like were buying each other an abortion for our one year present...
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I just opened a gallon of milk that is good through the 10th of January- I hope I can say the same for myself.
I learned an important lesson this weekend.... I'm way to good at sex to travel for it. From now on he drives here...
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
Look, I said I'm sorry. In the shower, "are you happy to see me" sounded just like "could you please pee on me". Honest mistake.
You picked up her frozen vom puddle and threw it like a frisbee.
They made the rule if I caught the ball with my cleavage they would drink the entire beer pong table. I don't think they expected me to actually do it.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
Last night I had sex with one of the groomsmen I was in the wedding with. In a stairwell. 13 years my senior. Thinking I should retire from the bridesmaid gig.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
I just went to add a song I had never heard before to my "high as fuck" playlist and it was already there.
Randomize
