youre so sexy i want your bod
dude, did you turn gay?
heather?
this is jacob
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
cant help it. i get a boner every time that shake weight infomercial comes on
I bet they don't have a scenario slide on how to deal with a suggested three way with counsel during harassment training.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
Okay now that I've been wanting to eat these hot cheetos in the bathroom, I know it's time I need to stop smoking and go to sleep.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
If magic marker is safe for kids, it should be safe for cats...right?
There is not enough whiskey in the world to get me through what happened on Pretty Little Liars tonight.
First world problems.
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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