i wish we had vans that drove around at night but insteand of ice cream and jolly tunes its taco bell and the macarena
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
sarcasm needs its own font
do you think semen can infect my impacted wisdom tooth
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Just for the record its a bit awkward when you introduced me to your friends at your house as your brother and then insisted in front of them that I sleep in your bed with you
This is the third time that ive slept with him. He bought me more milk. I can feel the romance growing.
This girl looks like an elf and is obviously on coke. I want to be her.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
I looked into her soul, didn't I?
You eye-fucked her soul.
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