Do you have any idea why the dryer isn't working?
Because you touch yourself at night.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
it wasnt like "sexy" or whatever. like...she was smiling just standing there butt ass naked
tasteful.
Sorry about last night..I didnt realize how drunk you were and when I closed the door it caused you to slam into the mirror...you'll probably piece together the puzzle when you read this and see your hand.
cum and cheesecake for breakfast...don't fucking tell me pride week isn't awesome
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
AND BY FEELINGS I MEAN VODKA
Dude just pulled his dick out and started stroking it and making s sound like cocking a shotgun....wtf was in those e pills
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
Drinking a bawls. If I'm dead when you get home, yes, they are poisoned.
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
...i have a beer in one hand, and a chicken wing in the same. typical tuesday, right?
Randomize
