he looked about as manly as a guy in a volkswagen bug can look
It's almost summer. We need to start reconnecting with our home drug dealers.
No, the sea-green pills were klonopin, the bright blue ones are adderall. you're probably going to have to adjust your plans for the day.
You kept trying to hail an ambulance
Two bottles of champagne and half a pizza later, I'm crying myself to tears watching The Nanny. Happy finals week.
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
I made him breakfast and we cuddled on the couch watching march of the penguins, which is, in case you were unaware, the opposite of fucking on a pool table
Yeah. He can't come because his mom found the pizza box under his bed with my underwear in it. He acted confused, guess because i forgot to tell him..
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
he just sat there, in the doorway of my dorm room, chuggin a fifth like nobodys buisness.. don't know whether to fuck him or be afraid of his confidence
probably one of the worst weekends ever... i got peed on by his sleepwalking roommate.
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
Randomize
