i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
Shes from jersey what did you expect her to say when you asked her if she did coke? Its like asking some1 from a third world country if they are hungry
If you're ever in Seattle we should Fuck. Or get coffee, whatever.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
I'm pretty sure whiskey overrules bulimia in the eyes of Texas boys
I think for all the guys in my phone, I'm going to change their pictures to pics of their dicks. It's easier to identify them that way.
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I literally used, "MY VAGINA IS TOO FANTASTIC FOR HIM TO STAY GAY" as a valid argument for attempting to fuck my gay friend.
i accidenteley seduced the christian girl's brother so i dont think we can count on free church picnic food again
My boobs smell like weed again. This happens way too often.
I’m going to cut back. New Year, New Me
I would never wish less dick on anyone but do what you gotta do
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
Well, fuck this election. I'm getting drunk, regardless of who wins.
That confirms what we've all known all along. I'm a bad gay. I have no fashion sense.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
