i blacked out hard core.. it was bad peeeed muh bed
He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
If i evwr doyble fist jack daniels and smirnoff again, i hereby give you permission to take them both away grom me and give me and give me a glass of wat
there is laundry and salad ALL OVER my car, i need context
Nah I'm perfectly content solely banging the married bartender once a week.
That's practically a relationship for you
I'm glad we're going to catch up. too bad it's over my vagina.
oh and speaking of men I've slept with. Ryan lost 1/3 of a testicle zip lining
I woke up naked on his boat with a cowboy hat on with a boat cover over me... Thank you tequila!
All I have done at work today is eat and try to get my coworker to tie me to his bed again
Heres a quick tip! When getting black out head from your girlfriend dont come to and say "wait... wheres my girlfriend"
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
On another note; I'm three days away from being 1/12th of my way from not having sex for a year. I need to get laid.
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Randomize
