I just realized i haven't had sex in 2009. oh man thats embarrassing.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
Man I'll cab it I'll be sloshed by then. There's turtles involved
The token old dude at the show tried hitting on us by telling us his favorite rapper was Cayenne West.
When you were bringing him upstairs I told him to bring you on down to pound town. you're welcome.
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
About to wash down a xan with an iced pumpkin spiced latte from starbs and I feel like I've never lived up to my stereotype so much at one time
Randomize
