Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
that coffee was exactly what I needed. Also whose awesome hat is on the couch with ear flaps? I wanna put my head in it
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
I have your car and your sandals. My shoes are somewhere under the puke couch. Safari time.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I didn't know. I guess I really haven't had that much time for drinking lately. I mean, outside drinking at home/work.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Do you want to get naked and order pizza with me
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
I'll get the most aesthetic strap on, you'll see
Put my boyfriend in a chastity cage while he was passed out last night. Now I control his orgasms.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
Randomize