Haha no. But I cannot hook up with you anymore. Especially when you group text people.
I can't belive they dont sell booze Sunday mornings. I mean some of us have to work
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
We should live in a duplex and just hook up with randoms for the rest of forever and be animal hoarders.
the fat lady is now rubbing her stomach and staring at me. I hate trains
This is the Santa Claus of hangovers. It just keeps giving.
I made out with about ten people last night. And four of them were just on the way to my car from the bar. And one was my roommate.
unless you have a dick and you were thinking of chopping that off
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
looked up people from my old yearbooks. 3 ex boyfriends are gay. im getting drunk now.
Oh? I just remember dropping coins and trying to give the manager change to let me back into the bar.
Finally get to put my practical writing degree to use! I'm writing a craigslist ad for a threesome
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Arrived home from picking Mom and Nana up at the airport to find Marc buck ass nude beneath the Christmas tree. Nana says she always knew I was queer.
Is there a subtle way to tell him he needs to hydrate? 8 years of yoga and kegels. He has no idea what I’m going to do to him this weekend
Randomize
