I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
She's "scared" of blowjobs, so she just played with it for a while.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
i can't sleep with him. he has a scrapbook from the girl he lost his virginity to.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
He was dressed in a pink dressing gown feeding people ketamine from a plastic sword he called Excalibur. how was your Monday?
But I feel like studying my flashcards during a blowjob would be rude...
You told me to ditch them in the park, and when she jumped onto the car to stop us, you told me to scrape her off against a parked Jeep. That drunk.
Uhm; your sign says 'Welcome to KFC' and for some reason I can't seem to open the door.
Ok I am NOT pregnant. I could shove coal up my vagina and my uterus would turn it into a diamond in a matter of minutes
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
But of course I'm in. After all, what fun would the holidays be without trying to find the perfect gift to impress someone you've never met, but need the approval of??
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
