And secondly i just said i'd pay ten dollars to have sex with you
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
i am YELPING strip clubs. This is interesting.
My mom is holding a picture of me, crying, and saying "where did I go wrong" over and over again.
She just face-timed her mom and had her watch all of us toast to her grandmas tits..
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
I was more obsessed with the sweat stain on her back that was simultaneously shaped like a vagina and the virgin Mary.
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
So, when I got arrested, they fingerprinted me. I'm getting my nails done right now and I'm pretty sure he's filing off my prints. Worth the $30.
Just drove by where I lost my sausage gravy virginity
Your actions as of last night have earned you over thirty new nicknames.
He went to 7/11 first and came back with condoms and a banana "in case we get hungry"
So then we ended up at a bar full of navy SEALs and I got one of them to take his shirt off, then I felt him up
I feel like 31-year old me is 21-year old me's hero
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
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