I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
After a couple hours you decided you were going to walk home but ten minutes later you called and said you'd puked by the side of the road and you needed us to drive you to the art museum.
I have a pocket in my purse that is just for condoms and cocktail swords. I feel like that speaks volumes about me as a person
You puked on my feet last night. You owe me a pedicure.
Might be time to reevaluate my life. Banned from red roofs inns. Apparently I puked in ice machine. 3 hotels in a year.
Seriously you've eaten pizza pockets for every meal for the past 4 days
Well to be fair I wasn't alive for breakfast 2 out of 4 days
DID YOU DO SOMETHING WITH THE DEAD ROACH IN THE KITCHEN? OR DID IT LAZARUS?
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I find celibacy oppressive. Huge waste of my time and talents.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
My manager is trying to help me find a good career path, and I'm trying to find a professional way to tell him I just wanna smoke and fuck.
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