apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
I miss Bob Barker.
Yeah, more like Douche Carey...
ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
You slow danced with your carpet steamer last night.
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I went out as a member of the house of Gryfindor and came home as Snooki
Lesson learned the hard way. If it's a "no" on a dating site, it's also a no if you ever run into the person anyplace in public. It's a slap if you mention wanting to poke.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
THANK YOU for not letting me make out with that girl omfg I was one step away from a foursome in the handicapped stall
I am going to MURDER whoever gave him my phone number but it was probably drunk me so I'm conflicted.
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
Double-fisting ice cream and wine. Do not send help.
on a scale from 1 to "can't put a toothbrush in your mouth without gagging" how hungover are you?
Randomize
