Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
a girl just showed up to class in a zip up hoddie and sweat pants. said she over slept. i guess she got hot and unzipped it , it was only then she realized was sleeping without a shirt or bra.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
I wonder if he just picks random boners to send or just the realy impressive ones
And there I was, sitting Indian style on the kitchen floor, my fingers covered in peanut butter.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Did I tell you I bit someone's arm for you last night
I think weed is turning my hair brown
Then he unzipped his pants and whispers, " oohhh, look out!"
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
Already drunk, almost got in a fight with a bunch of irish chicks. And another with canadians. On my way to get a tattoo. I plan to regret this trip.
Randomize
