Tampa is so boring. I'm dying. I want lots of cleavage at my funeral. If i cant get laid, i want my friends to. I'm that kind of person
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
I HAVE FLAVORED BLOW. THIS SHOULD NOT EXISIT.
he walked down the highway for 3 miles at 4 am, and got me coffee on the way. i dont think a blow job would have been enough.
Side note: I think I fell asleep holding a cereal box
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
Whoevers house this is has only beer and cream cheese in the fridge. Thats the diet im gonna go on
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
Long fucking story. But hey I got an orgasm and breakfast so I'm winning.
One singular head for man, one giant climax for mankind
If my dildo had feelings, they. Would've deffinately been hurt. He put that toy to shame..
im having flashbacks to my time in a waffle cult composed of 9 to 14 year olds
Dude, she stopped mid blow job to ask the cat's name. ADHD might be a deal breaker after all.
Randomize
