I am going to be in the room whjen you have your first child and spit on its face before its even all the way out of you.
I hate girls that dress up to come to planned parenthood. I just want to be like we are all in the same boat here, we know your slutty. Its OK.
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Congrats on having the best tasting nipple at the bar last night.
6 margaritas later and free shots of tequila, i woke up with a fat lip and they said i blew my nose in a slice of bread
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
Walking into class right now and I swear to god I smoked down the substitute teacher we have at a party I went to last week
he's like crack. I can't be in the same room with him while drunk and not do him.
We peed on a building I think...like a building in downtown...not out of view of anyone.
That was the first time ive ever slept with a girl with a q in her name
Randomize
