Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
I just applied for an unsubsidized loan naked. I love the internet.
I'm thinking about that time I was in a trashbag and you spray painted my hair yellow
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
Someone just bought me a one liter long island and call me maybe is on. I'm going to die
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
i found out she really is a mensa member
so she was the smartest passed out on the floor hair encrusted in vomit girl at the party
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
I was trying to pee in the bushes and the person who lived in the house where the bushes were planted started knocking on the window to get me to stop peeing in their bushes
I am on my usual post-jerkoff high of eternal happiness. Like I could punch a fucking tiger.
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
I took my makeup off with mouthwash. Seemed like a good idea. It worked.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
Randomize
