DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
Buhtt sex?
Anthony wouldn't know good sex if it sat on his face
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
He just yelled in the bar, "So I stuck it in two girls butts, why are you bringing that up now?"
Well if he truly loves me he will just have to accept my flaws. And that includes a tequila dependency and borderline lesbianism.
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
It's like he drunk calls 6 times for me to come over, but can't say hello at lunch.
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
its a comptetion of fuckups and im HERE TO WIN
Randomize
