I need to just get drunk and eat a pot pie.
ugh the "ive seen you naked on the internet" look is really getting tiring
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
I woke up with the Dorothy costume at my ankles, both sparkly red shoes on, and clutching ToTo....we're not in Kansas anymore, dude
so hungover. i just puked at the sight of the beer emoticon you sent me.
I greatly enjoy being related to her. Even if is it only by a penis.
Bringing families together since 1987
Try to make ecstasy cheese. Capitalize on the molly and greek yogurt trends. MARKETING
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Planning a foam party. Swimsuits are mandatory, and please no granny suits. If you wear a granny suit I will stick you in the corner and put a cone hat on your head.
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Spent the majority of my senior year drunk. Graduate of 2011, I think 2011. Probably.
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
Randomize
