I made out with a deaf person. Also I've been drunk 11 days in a row now.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
If I die, let him know that his penis was the last penis I saw. And I'm happy about that.
You can't call dibs on the bed... every time you party you KO in the bathtub
No idea but I'm preparing for 4 tequila shots and tons of vomit
We found you walking up the on ramp to the highway carrying a 40 mph speed limit sign with no shoes on. Rough night?
Apparently the guy with the moaning gf that lives above us is in my DES class... AWKWARD
Ahaah! I just stole batteries from work for my vibrator. I am that person.
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Legit hope my Trump humping Brother dies of this shit so I can stop pretending to still love him.
Randomize
