When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
he said 'i love fucking you, ashley'. it was the most romantic thing he's said during sex because he actually used my name.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
Thanks for convincing the hot dog guy to give me one for $1 after I drunkenly dropped the first one. I loved your reasoning "I know you mark that shit up! I work in retail!"
We ate our feelings. Then drank our feelings. I feel feminism delivered.
Braid them armpits, sister.
If they weren't representing Obama and the White House, they definitely would've punched me in the face.
Reached a new low last night. Passed out. With my pants down. On the toilet. At ihop. Waitress had to wake me up.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
WAIT MOM THIS DOESNT NEED TO BE A FAMILY EVENT OK AARON DOESNT NEED TO BE AROUND FOR NIPPLEGATE 2014
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
I refuse to take any type of advice let alone love advice from a motherfucker who is missing 3 fingers from a Fucked up masturbating accident.
Randomize
