you can still come hang out if you want
I really don't feel like watching you play video games
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
i just spent an hour trying to convince my blind date that star wars is better than star trek. help me
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
HE'S turngign 18teen real soon.k
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It is too early in this hangover to be seeing some guys ass crack.
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
I tried to pay my tab and go home but she wrote me a "list of things I'm good at" with fellatio as no 1...
fyi, pepper spray hurts. whoever comes up with the best backstory wins a prize.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
She wanted a dick pic so I sent her brett Favres dick pic then she asked why I have pictures of old men's beautiful dicks
Idk I think he's weird but he's also from Wisconsin so that might have something to do with it.
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
