Apparently I farted on her in my sleep. Then, just to be sure she was cool, I did it again on purpose and she didnt say anything. So, WIN?
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
No, I left myself a half eaten cucumber and a beer next to my head, pointed at it and said 'you're breakfast' and then passed out.
how did my horoscope know i was too hungover to operate a stove.
Fucking her would be like seeing big foot, finding a four leaf clover , petting a unicorn, and arm wrestling a leprechaun in a matter of a 6 hour period
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
The object of the game was to pour tequila into a sombrero and drink as much as you can before it leaked through, 'Big Papi' won.
We are so drunk half our team had to bowl with a chaperone. We won every game. We drink
He has an accent when he types. I can *hear* the schnitzel. Especially when he's drunk.
Ordered a pizza stoned. The guy handed me my pizza and I tried to pay him by handing him back the pizza.
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
Randomize
