Just invented new drinking game watching Hocus Pocus... everytime they say "virgin" wetake a shot and yell out "to j****"
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
I have to collect my sorority sisters from greek row... I hate how being dd is a night and morning job
just served this dwarf dude an entire pitcher of malt liquor. watching this will totally be worth my bartender's certification.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
Watching the tv in the reflection of my phone cause I'm too hungover to roll over.... Yes it is 4 PM...
sending him nudies in gran's hospital bathroom. you?
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
My alarm went off and I went straight for your dick. That's dedication.
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
Oooo yea. You face planted on my bed but only half your body made it so you noodled onto the floor but kept saying prepare to be murdered which is when you started taking your pants off but stopped at your ankles cause it was too hard
Maybe he injected his testicle?
You blacked out at 9:30 and insisted on sleeping in the hallway after you chugged an entire pitcher of beer. I guess the Jell-O shots were stronger than we thought...
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
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