I'm watching tv and he's trying to stick a vibrator in my ass
afterwards we were spooning and he said he wished he was a kangaroo so he cold put me in his pouch and keep me forever. I left as soon as he was asleep.
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
After giving a back rub to someone in the bathroom of the theater, he ripped an "employees must wash hands" sign off the wall to prove that he could and proceeded to hang it up in his house.
These days, you and me are swimming in dicks.
Marco
Polo
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
My Instagram consists mostly of drag queens and people who dress up as power rangers... I'm pretty sure I'm an unclassified category of gay
Just realized I used a picture of my little sister to holler at a guy, only 3 months old and she's already my wingman.
So I just bought e from my sophomore home ec teacher. How's your weekend going?
i woke up in just my thong, face first on my bed with all the lights on. how hungover do you think i felt?
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
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