my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
I wonder if u can grow weed on Framville and sell it to Mafia Wars?
it was only during my walk of shame that i realized i was wearing the exact same outfit that julia roberts wears on the dvd cover or pretty woman. prostitution is my destiny.
For using a life jacket as a pillow, I slept pretty good last night...
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
He was sitting cross legged outside his tent repeatedly hitting the ground with a hammer and shouting 'this.is.a.good.idea.'
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Took my plan b at Costco today, sample Sunday for the win.
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
Someone broke into my car last night. Didn't take anything, even left the beer in my backseat. They need to get their priorities straight, obviously.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
