Not only is chick snoring like a 48 year old man but she's farting in rhythm
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
She definitely looked like a troll, but I had take one for the team. Or at least thats what I keep telling myself
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
He was so energetic. It was like screwing a bunny.
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
COVER ME IN BACON THATS MY FETISH
ACTUALLY ITS NOT, I HAVE NO FUCKING IDEA WHAT AWAKENS THE MONSTER BELOW THE BELT
He seems like a nice guy. I mean, I know he's married and he's essentially paying me to be his side hoe, but he really seems like a good person.
Don't tell me I can do whatever makes me happy while also saying I have to put on pants.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
He kept apologizing that the nerve damage makes him take a while to finish. Meanwhile he gave me 3 orgasms and a leg cramp
Only you could benefit from a reckless driver
Randomize
