Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
Do you know anything about the Easter basket sitting on my doorstep filled with porn and peeps?
He legit asked if he could come over for a hug. I feel like I've been booty called by a 12 year old.
I had a girl last night tell me that she was happy to find a condom wrapper in my garbage because,and I quote, "well at least you're not raw dogging every slore that crosses your path"
I'm sorry, you're actually right. Ostrich racing happens, and they're ridden like a horse. Bewildered and distraught.
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
It's gotten to a point that when guys say "I'm gonna cum" I've developed a habit of responding "dooo itttt" in a deep voice. #isthatweird
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
You poured a bottle of water into the salad bowl and said "bowls are a joke" and then poured it into your lap.
Dude, you were so drunk you were hanging from the ceiling of my car pretending you were a sloth while we were on 81.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
Randomize
