Just saw my boss eat a banana in three bites.
this is a family affair. You're an embarrassment.
whatever it's not my family
she started talking about my kids
was she topless?
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
this kid just offered me adderall in exchange for my meal points. college at its finest
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
No that's sign language, not a drinking game. I tried to join
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
George Washington did not fight for our freedom just to have people shit themselves all night
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
Is it weird that I'm mad at my boss because he isn't paying me enough attention? Maybe my dad issues are worse than I thought
I've never been to an orgy, but I would assume nachos wouldn't be out of the question at one.
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
