there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
we're making bets on your personal life
almost passed out on the way to class today.. laid down in a construction site. bad idea
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I just started talking about my sextoy because I wanted things to be normal again.
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
Just dodged a state trooper, your weed will be there shortly. Fear the unbustable!
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
I fully support your bad decision but I do not approve of your unironic use of the word yolo
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Im pretty sure breakfast wine is a thing, and if it isn't, I just invented it
You think that was bad? One time my parents found my sister half naked on top of the four runner in the garage. She makes me look like the good child.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
Randomize
