Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Do you think it'll be awkward standing up at their wedding knowing I've slept with both the bride and the groom?
My mom just blew pot smoke into my nose and called me a cat.
Also pregame at mine tomorrow?
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
I seriously think the toilet is the cleanest thing in their house. At least if I have to worry its not about that.
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
I fell off my bed and busted open my chin on the prisoner of azkaban. Somehow missed the almost empty Jose handle next to it. So guess what I was doing last night?
He peed off the roof and then we bonded it was beautiful
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
I told him I had the birth control implant in my arm and he looked me in the eyes, said "Science!" and came in me
Some girls mom just approved of me banging her on Fb.... For the whole world to see.. I'm officially a god.
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
