I won't be sarcastic... just naked
it glows. i had to have it.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
the only reason I'm still sleeping with him is to get the university's secure wifi password
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
That's the 2nd med student that has had his tongue in my butthole, what gives.
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
if you didn't cry because you couldn't find me and then pee your bed, your wingman status would totally be revoked for leaving me at that party.
FACT: You were laying down on top the bar letting randoms do bodyshots off you until someone told theyre friend "its time to roll, i wanna hit another bar" and you literally rolled your self right off the bar. have fun explaining your bruises tomorrow
Randomize
