she was dressed as a doctor claiming that after she was done i would have a "permaboner"
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
I was an emotional waste case that night. She made me stroke her ponytail.
At least in the future when we're all real people we can laugh about the time we all had scabies together?
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
I'm busy watching infomercials. I'd say I'll join you later, but I'm doing a shot every time they demonstrate how difficult life is WITHOUT this product. So I doubt I'll be able to walk in another... Maybe 40 minutes.
But feel free to join! A new infomercial starts in 12 minutes.
No more margaritas for you. Also, tequila should be reclassified as a hallucinogen.
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
The whole time we were hanging out my vagina was yelling at me like its a real live penis that wants to have sex with us what are you doing
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
Uess honpr I rememebrt hEzS cuter
You'll have to translate that into sober in the morning.
He in a way got kinda cockblocked by Jesus
Oh god I found a set of car keys in my pocket, and I have no idea who's they are
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